NanaKim

With so much preparation you would think I would be ready for the main event. Not so. The due date is at the end of the month and of course, like her mother, her daughter’s first child is obviously going to be a week late so nothing’s going to happen until next month right?

Well life happens. I don’t think it helped my daughter’s blood pressure that she and her husband bought a house not too long before the birth. She did give herself a window of time to spend the final month of pregnancy resting on the couch. However, the closing of the house was delayed and the stress levels went up. Her blood pressure readings at her weekly checkups were concerning and there was talk about inducing the birth if those numbers didn’t change. At the same time, I caught Covid for the second time. I knew I could test positive for weeks to come and I also knew that I would not get to be present at the birth of my grandchild as promised, without a negative Covid test. I was stressed!

After moving into the new house with three unhappy cats and not much time to unpack anything my daughter’s blood pressure stayed high. Her maternity leave started at the beginning of the ninth month of pregnancy and she ran out of options.

My daughter checked in to the hospital on Tuesday evening to begin the cervix softening meds. I got up on Wednesday morning dreading taking the Covid test in case the results crushed my hopes of being with her. My husband read the results for me because I was too scared to look, and I could have cried with relief. I packed a lunch, a towel and some lotion and drove to the hospital. I checked in with security, took the elevator up to the top floor and then asked to be buzzed into the maternity wing. The room was large and quiet with huge windows and a wonderful view.

The meds to induce labor oh so gradually, were Cervidil and Misoprostol, taken by turns and very slowly increased across the coming days. It was all at a very gentle pace to give the body time to adjust to being pushed into labor before the body itself was completely ready. Emotionally, we were all on edge wondering if everything would go well. We were frustrated that it was taking so long. It’s a long time to spend in such an uncomfortable room, not at all conducive to sleep in any way. I went home to my lovely bed every night, but my son-in-law was looking at a hard plastic recliner. Even so, when the nurses begged him to get some sleep, her refused. He wanted to stand beside my daughter who was suffering and lacking sleep herself. He was intent on sharing the whole experience with her as much as he could.

The long hours gave me time to notice the closet containing the birthing ball, the giant peanut and other items just for my daughter. Back in the 90s there was very limited supply of birthing balls, in fact, I’m not sure there was more than one in the entire labor and delivery wing. There certainly were no choices of equipment to assist in labor. It was my third delivery before I even got a turn on the birthing ball!

I also appreciated the large white board where all the on duty staff were listed. The names were changed out as the shifts changed over the next few days. All the nurses were stellar. I had steeled myself to being the guard dog protecting my daughter from those nuisance administrative visits, official photographers and satisfaction surveys. I didn’t get a chance. The nurses were formidable in standing between my daughter and all interference. They got to that door so fast that nobody made it past the privacy curtain who did not have a medical task to perform. It was wonderful to watch.

The long hours slowly moved through the different approaches in coaxing the birth along. The Foley Balloon was new to me and was apparently quite painful. It is used to dilate the cervix. Not surprisingly the epidural was very welcome after that. By Friday morning the meds, which had been drawn down to see if the body kicked labor into gear independently were brought back and increased. It was looking more and more like active labor. The parents were tired, especially the mother to be but we were all focused on keeping her comfortable despite all the wires and monitors.

Thinking back to my first labor experience, I was glad to have my mother with me. She was very good at massaging my feet and I wanted to give that gift to my daughter. As soon as my son-in-law saw what I was doing, he followed along. We moved peanuts and pillows to make my daughter comfortable and then massaged her feet and lower legs together. She seemed to enjoy that reprieve as she worked on breathing through contractions. I smiled remembering a comment of one of my uncles who following the birth of one of his children had remarked that if it took him that much work to shift a wardrobe it could bloody well stay where it was!

After so many days of my daughter’s hard work, I wasn’t sure how long it would be before the birth. The doctor came in and I mentioned that I thought that would be a good time for me to go to the family lounge and have lunch. The doctor whipped around and said, “Then you will miss the birth!” A steel table was wheeled into place bearing all the equipment the medical staff might need under clear plastic. It was a beautiful sunny day. The sun was blazing in through the enormous window and caught the edges of the plastic cover. I looked out of the window and saw the parking lot below, the sun sparkling on the retention pond and then lighting up the trees and rolling farm fields beyond. The sunshine filled the land, the sky and the room as a sense of excitement and joy intensified. I returned my attention to my daughter. I was standing on the opposite side of the bed from my son-in-law. The sun was shining directly onto my daughter giving extra warmth and light. At length I saw the head crowning. The dark, wet hair glittered in the sunlight. I gasped and told my daughter that I could see the baby’s lovely dark hair! I was immediately connected to the same experience when my daughter was born. My mother saw that same view the head appearing and she lit up with a cry of delight. I was no more interested in the news back then as my daughter was at this stage of labor now. She was truly fed up and at the end of her tether as I was at this stage. The doctor and the nurses remained bright, cheerful, encouraging and commanding through push after push until the baby was finally born and laid happily on my daughter for skin to skin contact. I thought my heart would burst and I teared up with happiness. I looked into my son-in-law’s eyes and saw the same emotions spilling over. We both wiped away tears and felt the surge of joy and relief. At last! My daughter was suddenly a mother with a baby to hold instead of a heavily pregnant person struggling to keep working and working for who knew how long. All our lives were forever changed by the presence of this tiny human.

The new family was given plenty of time just to be with each other before all the normal post birth procedures took place. My son-in-law cut the cord. The baby gradually moved into feeding position, and when everyone was perfectly contented, tests, checks and care were given. I took my first photo of my grandchild surrounded by her parents, who were a little in shock and a lot in love. I stayed back loving everything I was privileged to share in that moment. This was not my time to be a grandmother, this was their time to become parents. The peace in that room after all the days of activity and stress was absolutely wonderful.